horaay just got this baby from amazon courtesy of young jb! can't wait until the weekend to play the bejaysus of it, finally a game that's weaned me off all the fps madness!!
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
I call this the Batman-Skateboot Conundrum, I can suspend my disbelief that character like Batman exists within his fictional universe but when he just happens to have ice skates in his boots when he fights Mr. Freeze in Batman and Robin (1997) when he has just found out about him in the car on the way over it really annoys me. So either he has the skates in his boots all the time on the off-chance of meeting an ice based villian or he has multible boots in the boot of the Batmobile! anyway, that's an argument for another day, onto Supes....
The timeframe of Kypton exploding and the events of the movie. We can probably expect, or be forced to accept, that the technology of Kypton is suffciently advanced and to do things we can't comprehend. But there is supposedly a several thousand year gap between the explosion and little Kal-El getting to earth. The time frame makes sense in terms of making Kypton far enough away from earth not to be detected by humnaity, but this distance makes the likelihood of a craft that can stay on course and keep the infant Kal-El in suspended animation for that long mindboggling. Surely there would be some psychological/physical ramifications from spending 'several thousand' years in a little capsule.
Oh, and then Superman can make the round trip in Five years! Does he not need some sort of rest or sustenance? what kind of packed lunch to you take into space?
Kyptonite We know it's a just a plot device to make Superman vulnerable and to help along as HH would say the PFF quoitient of the movie, which is fecking high enough already, but how exactly does it affect Superman?
It seems to only affect him when he touches it, and then he's fine if he stays a little bit further away from it, it's kinda like characters closing that big metal door to keep the scary ice away in The Day After Tomorrow. When there are traces of it on the structure Luthor is on, Superman is immediately powerless and all those bad men (they were dark clothes just so you know) start beating the shite out of him (so Christians can get their surreptitious S&M rocks off?). So getting far enough away from it allows Supes to fly again and get power from the Sun (surely making him Ra more than the Jesus) fine, then he heads back toward the structure with no ill effects and lifts the whole fucking thing out of the water, close ups of his hands show there are far more prominent peices of Kyptonite all around him yet he can fly the whole thing into space when previously he couldn't even fight off Kumar (an Indian missle expert, you gotta love Hollywood) and a guy with a clown on the back of his head?
Luthor's Plan Using the crystals, Luthor plans to implant them in the sea and grow a new continent. The fact that this new continent will be entirely made up of icy crystals seems not to bother him, he still thinks it will be desirable, even though he has comepletetly obliterated most of America, whose gonna buy his shitty ice houses? What cartographer made all those maps for him and was he/she not a bit suspicious? What 'pleasures' did he show poor old Noel Neill?
Other minigripes Doesn't Superman piss you off when he goes on about smoking? like when he keeps blowing out Lois's fag (incidentally doesn't her tiny wee head and toothpick neck make the cigarette look like a length of pipe). What does he care about smoking, he could smoke 1,000,000 fags and be ok. Plus the cabbie's cigar sets off the gas explosion and the henchman who tries to grab Luthor's cigar and gets immediately chrushed. Speaking of him being a dick, it's not really fair on the dog when Clark Kent throws the base ball into the horizon....
I'm sure there's loads more, but I'll leave that to other Superman Returns nitpickers: Cinematical, Peter David, astronomy nitpicks. Oh wow, Ghost Rider's out soon, I'm sure that'll make loads of sense....
Monday, February 12, 2007
wow all these dudes look funny.....they're not, except for Carman Electra, I can forgive her anything after making one of the best comedy shows ever...Carman Electra's HyperMix...what? was that meant to be comedy?....
Spoilers Ahead, but Epic Movie was totally spoiled before I got near it.
If you've seen the trailer with a Superman clone getting shot in the eye, going 'ow my eye, you shot me in eye! why would you do that!' you have seen not only one of the few vaguely humourous bits in the movie you have seen the entire Superman spoof bit, that's it. The characters positioning on the poster has little relation to their screentime. I'm scared that Superhero! is still in production, with this and Scary Movie 5 on the cards.
This movie made me fondly remember Scary Movie 4, as if it was the best film ever. What that film had at least was endearing performers in Anna Farris and Craig Bierko parodies of overwrought films like War of the Worlds that were ripe for parody and a sense of some wider politcal and social world, Leslie Nielson's cry 'but i want to find out what happens about this duck!' when being told of intergalactic attack in a school class room an attempt at least at satire.
One of Epic Movie's fundamental problems is that it spoofs movies that already have strong comedic and lighthearted elements. The awful performances by these bargain basement looky-likeys throw into sharp relief the comedy acting skills of the likes of Johnny Depp and Frank Black etc. I fear whoever cast their Danel Craig-look-a-like doesn't know what Daniel Craig actually looks like. The very brief presence of a Borat-a-like towards the end just reminds you of how funny Borat was and how painful this is, also the Borat-a-like's appearance in the trailer has no relation to his appearance in the film itself.
'get these goddamn snakes off this godddamn plane',
surely parodies should be more outrageous than the original film rather than more conservative. He then repeats/steals a great line from Dave Chappelle (Because!I'm Samual L. Jackson! that's the way I TALK!) . Another aspect is no attempt to think of the global market, there are a few Harold and Kumar go to White Castle jokes that make no sense in territories where it's called Harold and Kumar get the Munchies. Despite all this awfulness, honourable mentions have to go to Fred Willard, Jennifer Coolidge, Crispin Glover, Kevin McDonald, Jim Piddock, Hector Jimenez, Tony Cox...wow, look at that some of the most intelligent and hilarious comedy actors of this time period, and no laughs, where could the fault lie...
p.s. put this on the DVD box....
Posted by Lorcy at 6:49:00 PM
Thursday, February 08, 2007
Posted by Lorcy at 8:01:00 PM
TCAL has this post on the demented Troy Hurtubise, who has come up with this Robocopesque body armour for all the boys in Iraq, he's loving it, coming up with whatever crazy gadget that will maim or poison insurgents, and a bizare 'cock-clock', apparently the groin is the best place to keep a clock, who'd a thunk it.
In this youtube video he keep's referring to himself in the third person and how he looked to Star Wars and Halo for inspiration?!
Frightening, people may occasionlly give me some good-natured ribbing for my obessions, but I'm not trying to make Robocop REAL!
Posted by Lorcy at 7:42:00 PM
Monday, February 05, 2007
Posted by Lorcy at 1:49:00 AM
Sunday, February 04, 2007
Anyway after work on Sundays, I normally go the Londis round the corner and buy three for a £1 "Buzz Sweets" (this week's choices: Shrimps, Strawberry Fizzy Logs, Blackcurrant Rings). Normally go round to see Double H, aka H-Factory, but she wasn't in so I have to eat them all myself and my teeth hurt. These are the Norwich Chav kid equivalant of crack or something so I call them CKC for sort, they cause hyperactivity, itchy teeth, and the little guy on the packet starts singing 'Scooter' songs at you if stare at him too long. Man I really need, to go brush my teeth...now!
*God these sound like euphemisms for down below diseases, "oh I can't go out tonight because I've got a blackcurrant ring and I keep laying strawberry fizzy logs".
Posted by Lorcy at 7:42:00 PM
Saturday, February 03, 2007
This sad news from Superhero Hype, my news website of choice, that Joss Whedon is no longer attached to the Wonder Woman movie (from his official blog):
I'm no longer slated to make Wonder Woman. What? But how? My chest... so tight! Okay, stay calm and I'll explain as best I can. It's pretty complicated, so bear with me. I had a take on the film that, well, nobody liked. Hey, not that complicated. Let me stress first that everybody at the studio and Silver Pictures were cool and professional. We just saw different movies, and at the price range this kind of movie hangs in, that's never gonna work. Non-sympatico. It happens all the time. I don't think any of us expected it to this time, but it did. Everybody knows how long I was taking, what a struggle that script was, and though I felt good about what I was coming up with, it was never gonna be a simple slam-dunk. I like to think it rolled around the rim a little bit, but others may have differing views.The worst thing that can happen in this scenario is that the studio just keeps hammering out changes and the writer falls into a horrible limbo of development.
This sucks, but if you study contemporary cinema it's to be expected, are the studios really going to trust a leftist, feminist sci-fi geek with a multi-million dollar franchise ? (as much as we'd like it to happen) God know's who they're going to get now, Brett Ratner? Bryan Singer ? (they would never be mentioned in the same breath before Superman Returns)...in a perfect world Kathryn Bigelow would direct Wonder Woman.
The sad fact is, you are never going to get a satisfactory Wonder Woman film until the Hollywood system stops being fundamentally sexist and racist, so we'll expect the 4-D smell-0-vision version in the year 4,000 then....
Posted by Lorcy at 4:11:00 AM