that's a zinger
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
The great journalist and blogger Sinéad Gleeson, her of Sigla Blog, best Arts and Culture blog at the 2006 and 2007 Irish Blogs Awards , is standing in for Edel Coffey for her Access All Areas on the fantastic Phantom 105. 2 FM you can listen live on the site and there's also a streaming player on their Irish superheroes I put together for St. Patrick's Day and other fun superhero facts (if I remember them) must remember to speak slowly and not get all excited if I end up talking about She-Hulk or something, it could happen.
I used to listen to Phantom all the time back in the day when I lived in bedsits in Rathmines, looking forward to it!
Previous tales of my media whoring (mis)adventures can be found here and here.
Last Sunday was a great night for comedy. There was the great Extras episode with Bowie,
Catch Bowie being effortlessy funny towards the end of this documentary (yeah! you and whose army). Then there was Shaun of the Dead and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (still crack up at Good Will Hunting II: Hunting Season, 'I don't like them one bit'). Christ just found Kevin Smith's missus has done a three-hour making of doc, 'Oh, What a Lovely Tea Party'.
Anyway, I nearly fell off my chair when Nick Frost's great first full line in Shaun of the Dead, "Can I get any of you cunts a drink?" was redubbed as "Can I get any of you cocks a drink?" on ITV2. I was taken back to watching things like 48 Hours or Beverly Hills Cop with lots of 'frigs' and 'freakins' dubbed over, which I was always found more offensive than the swear words, because it was usually done by some middle England ITV monkey doing a really bad Eddie Murphy voice. It also created a mini genre of sketch comedy, cf Hale and Pace (no really), Harry Enfield (surprised no one's put up the 'mother funster. did you fun my wife etc. sketch) and Mad TV. On film there are some things that Americans are just better at on screen than the British, Swearing, hard core pornography and violence. Hopefully ITV never show Dead Man's Shoes: "What are you looking at...You, you cantalope..."
This madness also extended to the TV Times when they reproduced the poster of 48 Hours with the middle finger badly airbrushed off! so Murphy was just shaking a badly drawn fist at an inexplicable angle. When bad airbrushing was out of the question movie posters took a turn for the more bizarre when they used other fingers that no one else uses to mean what we think they mean without offending idiots: witness Committed and The Family Stone . This sort of mealy mouthed attempt to shock but not really really grinds my gears.
Saturday, March 24, 2007
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Anyway, after my top ten Irish Superheroes post, kindly mentioned on the great bloggarah , (a choice clip from Daredevil of Colin 'Feckin' Farrell being Bullseye) the lads behind Irish Cartoon site Go Maith, Brian Fitzmaurice and S.C. Dirkin's alerted me to their Captain Ireland cartoon (see above for Irish version, sorry I'm such a heathen, could remember the aul cupla focal at this time of night). At least Captain Ireland wouldn't get caught out by a sniper. I'm still imaging the wake, I'll bet She-Hulk was there.
Saturday, March 17, 2007
Friday, March 16, 2007
1. The Gay Ghost.(Keith Everet)
Hey, St. Patrick's Day isn't just about Guinness you know, (there's Jamesons, Paddys, Irish Mist and Baileys as well), and I like to celebrate this day, as I do every day, with a hint of the bizarre. Last year I presented my top ten heroes of Irish comedy this year I present my top ten Irish Superheroes, (well I could only find ten there's even a Wikipedia page that features 7 of them).
First up is the Gay Ghost, created in 1942 by Gardener Fox and Howard Purcell. Gay Ghost seems to be a Spectre type superhero, with a hilariously convoluted origin story involving true love, highwaymen, immigration, Nazis and stuff. He was later renamed the 'Grim Ghost' , wonder why. Oh and he's from Connaught Castle in...wait for it...Ulster?
2. Hellstrike (Nigel Keane)
From Wiki Wooo: "Nigel was born Irish in Belfast. He served in the British police constabulary in Belfast for some years before moving to London. There, he fell in love with Anne, his partner while investigating the IRA. Their relationship lasted until an Irish terrorist/mercenary by the name of Seamus O'Brien, killed her in front of him. In the ensuing fight, Keane was mortally wounded. But before dying, his powers manifested, saving his life and making him Hellstrike" Would be nice to see an Irish superhero that had nothing to do with the 'troubles', like some fat GAA fan from Carlow that drank some radioactive Guinness or something and could lay toxic Guinness logs that could incapacitate enemies....
3. Siryn (Theresa Rourke Cassidy)
From Wikipedia: Like her father, the X-Men’s Banshee, Siryn is an Irish mutant, who possesses a "sonic scream" capable of incapacitating and injuring an opponent's hearing and sending powerful vibrations through the air. She can use these vibrations to fly. Her name derives from the sirens of Greek mythology. Thankfully with the X-Men, and Siryn and Banshee you're pretty safe from political issues being shoehorned in imagine how it could've been: "Siryn got her powers from accidentally swallowing a radioactive megaphone at a 1960s Befast civil rights marchs...."
4. Proinsias Cassidy
With Garth Ennis and Steve Dillion at the helm, you'd guess there would a prominent Irish character as soon as they got a high-profile gig like The Preacher. Cassidy is an Irish vampire born in 1900 allowing him to be jammed into historical events like the Rising in the manner of Young Indiana Jones you know when you happen to be in Russia during the revolution and you just happen to bump into a young Lenin. Bet the yanks lap it up like Ennis was an inner city Belfast kid who esacped the troubles through reading Superman or something, but as most know he had a pretty mundane middle-class upbringing and much of his troubles-inspired violence is as voyeuristic as the next comics writer. Thank god though someone from Northern Ireland at least was writing about Northern Ireland in comics.
Kinda like when Cillian Murphy takes out all those weird army blokes in 28 Days Later, there was always a certain perverse pleasure in seeing Slaine chopping shite out of Romans and Saxons alike. With this and Finn Pat Mill's hard on for all things 'Celtic' was cemented. Slaine was more or less the Cuchulain we learned about in school but with more violence and semi-naked statuesque women, with axes, and dwarves....see what reading 2000ad as a teen does to the adult libido.
Probably the best known Irish superhero in the Marvel universe, ginger and freckled, of course, and often seen in a big Aran Sweater and smoking a clay pipe, especially in front of high tech danger room scenes. Thankfully never says things like 'jaysus lads what'ye up te at all?' 'look at ye Wolverine, sure you've got a big angry head on ya altogether'. His biog has usual Irish superhero cliches: being part of some law enforcement agency, in love, tragedy of some sort because of the 'troubles', but he he can shout really loud so it's ok.
7. Jack O'Lantern (Daniel Cormack)
I'll leave it to wikipedia there's bombs and farmers involved yet again: Daniel Cormack of Ireland was born to a poor farmer who was granted a magic lantern by an Irish fairy. His first recorded mission was to help Green Lantern dismantle a bomb in Ireland (Super Friends 9). He appeared in three solo back up stories ion Super Friends 37, 40 and 44. He also helped Superman find an ancient ruin in Ireland (DC Comics Presents 46). Kinda cool to almost an Irish Green Lantern, such an obvious window of opportunity there.
8. The Shamrock (Molly Fitzgerald)
I first read the Shamrock's intro story in Marvel Comics Presents, it was quite funny reading this story where mordern Ireland was still be represented like it was the 1800s at the same time as stuff that was going on in 2000ad, Crisis Revolver and Deadline. Gotta love her backstory (from wiki woo)
Molly Fitzgerald's father was a fanatically militant Irish nationalist. When she was three years old, her father called out to the heavens to grant her brother Paddy the power to strike down his enemies, but there appeared to be no effect. Not until Molly's freshman year in college did she discover that she had obtained mutant powers, a protective aura that altered probability around her and she became the costumed hero Shamrock.
Now we're talking! pass the synthi-stout, Garth Ennis and Steve Dillion's creation of Judge Joyce, a relaxed Judge of the Dreddverse version of Ireland "The Emerld Isle" was an excellent foil to the uptight Dredd. When you were a huge Dredd fan in Ireland and seeing the Brit Cit, Pan Africa and Hondo Cit Judges it was a great thrill to see the Irish themed suits of Joyce and co, all named after Irish writers. 2000ad check list here, Innocents Abroad available here. Judge Joyce brings back memories for me as he was one of the prominent figures in my art portfolio while attemptiong to get into art college back in the day, I remember one interviewer turning up his nose at my John Hicklenton*, Death's Head II inspired wank, I wouldn't mind but he was wearing a Roy Lichtenstein tie.
10. Hitman (Tommy Monaghan)
Ennis again, Tommy Monaghan is a great character a normal average everyday Irish hitman who get superpowers and skirts around the edge of DC Comics' superhero universe (there;'s an Irish ghetto of Gotham City called 'The Cauldron' who knew?!) slyly passing comment on it all in a pomo stylee:
Hitman chronicles the exploits of Tommy Monaghan, a contract killer from the Irish part of Gotham City. He first appeared in The Demon Annual #2 (part of the "Bloodlines" crossover in the summer of 1993), where he is bitten by an alien. The bite grants him the unexpected powers of x-ray vision and moderate telepathy. He decides to specialize in killing superhumans and supernatural threats.Well that's it until next year, what can be next? 10 ten Irish porn stars? that'll be harder to compile then this list . So remember, if you're ginger, plant and/or have loved ones killed by IRA bombs, have power over luck, cause like Shamrocks always have to do with luck don't they, or may that's clovers, have your own castle or are a hitman, watch out becse you might be Ireland next superhero!!
*John Hicklenton was one of my favourite British comic artists and he seems to has disappeared without a trace, does anyone know what happened to him? Found that wiki bit but what has he been doing?
I suppose this time of year always brings a bit of nostalgia for the Irishman abroad, even those in Norwich. I often find myself listening to the great Phantom FM expertly spoofed by Eyebrowy recently. Whilst chatting to a certain Dump Riffer I felt the unexplainable urge to listen to RTE just to hear Joe Duffy, (or Joe Motherfucking Duffy as Podge and Rodge would say) say in his inimitable 'style' 'gud aftirnoon tu yu'.
Meant to mention this a while back, but sadness all round for the hiatus of the great The Community at Large. It was good to have a forum to write crazy articles that I wouldn't have burbed out otherwise. Danger and all the lads will be sorely missed, have been consoling myself by looking at Blogorrah for my Irish blog needs, (especially like their five reasons its great to be Irish)but it's just not the same. See above for my favorite TCAL post Captain Planet in Belfast! which inspired my wee bit on Tomb Raider in Ireland.
Saturday, March 10, 2007
and he'll be made of lego!!
Man, I've made no secret of how much I love Bob Bryne of Clamnuts' work (this is still my favorite pic) . I think it's partly becuase of being from rural Ireland. When you find other Irish comic fans, we seem to have very similar comic book experiences growing up as fans. Huge amouts of VAT, making British and American comics an almost magical commodity- 2000AD, The Beano, The Dandy being the usual comic fans' fare, Cheeky, Whizzer and Chips, Deadline etc seeming extremly exotic. The copies of Eerie, Creepy and Vampirella used as bassast in ships and sold for a quid a go by a guy in a news stand on O'Connell Street, Alchemy's Head, Freakout! where I bought crazy undergound comics, the flea market behind Stephen's Green where I found loads of Robert Crumb's Weirdo for 50p a pop!. I distinctly remember the year Judge Dredd and Batman Forever came out and Forbidden Planet on Dawson Street (back then) was thrashed by fly-by-night fanboys 'coz de saw de film'.
Anyway all this maudlin memory muck is just an excuse to put up a great trailer for yon Bryne's opus Mister Amperduke, description here, up above. It looks fucking great.
I seldom foist my dreams on the general blogosphere because a) they are too horrific and b) I don't sleep enough to have many*. However, when I do sleep I wake up all confused like 'what were all those crazy pictures behind my eyelids last night'. The last celebrity dream I posted was this time travel doughnut John Cusack one.
Similarly to that one I woke up the other day and wrote the following note to remind me of a dream: "Smoking blow with Madonna and Guy Ritchie £3.50...I wouldn't pay £6.50"...The basic gist of the dream was I for some reason was with some guy and we were both in Madonna and Guy Ritchie's gaff and he really wanted to get in with them, but I couldn't be arsed really. Like who would be? There's some who dig Madonna but I see her as some sort of international subculture stealing machine. Like she sits in a big Prisoner style room monitoring all the trendy subcultures of the world and when she sees one she likes, like, I don't know Abba, or Ali G, she swoops down and absorbs it. But, and here's the kicker, she's always a year and a half late, so try as she might, and she's nearly killing herself trying, she.can.never.be.cool! Anyway, these thoughts probably spawned the dream along with watching a documentary on divas of New York as part of bbc4's excellent New York week (you know proper ones like Grace Jones, Sylvester, Donna Summer....and then the vapid tones of Madge were tacked on the end.
Anyway me and this unnamed guy were hanging out with Madge and fucking Guy Ritchie and smoking blow and this awkward Curb your Enthusiasm moment happened where my dislike of both Madge and Guy sort of came apparent, but the guy I was with was like really trying to suck up the them, and the more I saw this the more really overt in my dislike of the pair I became. Anyway it all came to ahead when fucking Ritchie goes 'I've got some old copies of 'Snatch' out in the garage if you want one, £6.50?'. Me with uncharacteristic vehemence, in mid puff off a 'bifter' as much missed Gary J Brynes would say, 'I wouldn't pay fucking £3.50 for a copy Snatch Guy!'....
What would Freud say? I ordinarily never say this phrase but say it now to illustrate the point that when people think they are saying something sexually perverse (they aren't) they normally go 'he he what would Freud say?' which opens them to a really bad joke like you going, well he'd probably say 'what the fuck is an ipod?' 'or what year is it?' 'who is this Dale Winton?' etc. etc....
* Beyond the fact that dreams are fundamentally and unconscious non linguistic phenomena so once you attempt to express them into a conscious linguistics they chance somewhat. I'm mostly thinking of wankers in the Big Brother house who say things to impressionable fellow house mates like...'I had a dream last night, I dreamt you won!'...
Posted by Lorcy at 6:04:00 AM
I saw an episode of that Never Mind the Full Stops , god that guy's a fucking prick, the presenter guy, I know he writes scripts and stuff, but why does he make fun of regional dialects that way, there's always one "commoner" ie someone who is decent on the team/s that can get good marks in this round. The round involves an actor pretending to be a farmer or something speaking in a really badly acted version of a regional accent with really badly prepared phrases that Eve Pollard or Freddy Forsyth or some of these cunt cabbages congratulate themselves on getting right and then that fuck and all the rest of them have a chuckle at how funny people from 'regions' speak...ha ha.He has such a self-satisfied laugh as well. I was working in the grad bar the other day and overheard a lecturer with the same laugh (he was going on about some conference he had been invited to) and I nearly puked, seriousy, it made me not want to be a lecturer, I never want to have a self satisfied laugh like that.
Castaway: Exposed, just caught about five minutes of this tonight after work and they had their resident 'anthropologist' on, no phd or qualifications displayed...oh sorry forgot to mention she's hot, so she's gonna be on every week, Geoff Beattie must be raging he didn't just mention he's read an anthopology book once or he could've got on this mad mish-mash tv 'experiment' as well.
Our university bookshop is closing, they are having an 90 %! off sale, on the counter beside the cash register (and the wee calculator on which the poor woman has to figure out what exactly 90 % of all the random books are) is a polling form where UEA students are invited to rate their favorite books of all time!! See what ye did wikipedia...ye see.... I did a lecture at the art college a few weeks ago and before the lecture, the students demanded that the lecturers put up a transcript/notes of the lecture! I never remember demanding anything of my lectuerers when I was at undergrad level, I was just amazed to a) be at college and b) studying media studies at Coleraine. Paraphrasing the dear departed below, these fecking students haven't attended a lecture unless they have read the notes online.
But I'm in the midst of a bar work/writing extravaganza that will culminate in a paddy's day alcohol apocalypse, to quote a certain Fin, that requires periodic blog rants to prevent most of Norwich being blown asunder by Irish sci-fi geek gloop, kinda like The Stuff.
Anyway, I have joined the 'pod people' (it's an old joke, I know, but so many people make it that 'pod people' should refer to the people who say 'pod people' when referring to ipod listeners for their unoriginal hoomer, they've probably never even any Invasion of the Body Snatchers movies, not eve the Abel Ferrera one). and about a month and a bit ago I purchased a second generation ipod shuffle. It's well tiny you could seriously stick it up your hole and dance around naked to Peaches with it, I suppose, not that I would try such a thing.
On one of these travels the dock got a wee bit bent, but enough for it's fragile wee self to get fucked. The moral of the tale is: I thought I was being a total idiot in breaking something so soon, but while shopping around for a replacement dock, I found many similar stories from the apple US and apple UK stores. Hooray! I'm not a fucking idiot there's loads of fucking idiots out there in hi-tech web-wank land! I especially like this review:
While the dock fits the ipod very nicely - if you are like me and not the tidiest of people this design is incredibly fragile. With the jack being at a right angle to the base it is very easy to bend the jack. I've just done this buy accidentally...stepping on the dock after it had fallen on the floor, upside down. If you're a tidy person - you'll have no issues :)
I love how this flies slam bang in the face of apple's 'I'm a Mac, He's a PC' ads, with the Peep Show lads over here and some guys who don't even have a sitcom over in the US (imagine not having you're own sitcom! we all have them over here). I mean if Jeremy from Peep Show had one of this piddly wee ipod docks, he would have stood on it within about a week and Super Hans would have snorted the remains immediately. Apple can't try and sell to flaky artist types and then expect them not to stand on wee bits of technology, can they? Well they probably can, cause only flaky artist types are stupid enough to shell out for a wee plug that costs almost half of the overall ipod!!. I just like that 'dock' has become common parlance, far removed from the practice of 'docking'. Peace out as the kids say.