Yes, a free Pheromone table booking is available…step this way…

There is one table just in front of one of our windows, and I swear to god it must be sprayed with pheromones or something—when the waitress asks me if I want anything I say, ‘could I have a Diet Coke, and could you hose down those horny mooks about six inches from my fucking face…I know they’re customers, but fuck! If you’re going to eat out, eat out, don’t eat each other out. . Every couple that sits there is down each other’s throats and pawing each other like they’re both going to disintegrate in an apocalyptic cataclysm in the next 2 minutes. I thought that was bad until saw a smug young middle-class couple play chess on some pine travel set that was probably bought from the back of a Sunday paper supplement magazine along with some Jean Paul Satre editions under the title ‘hey fuck face to you want to look intellectual in public?…why not join our ‘intelligensia affectation club’, every month you will receive a fine item to piss off your fellow humans…a pipe, a beret, a chess set? interested? have no opinions of your own? can't just talk to a woman when you're out for a meal but want to play chess? fuck you dude! you're not Steve McQueen, chess is not acceptable public foreplay for you...just be happy you've found someone gullible enough to suck your cock and call it a day...