Thursday, November 30, 2006


god damn blog blogger!:

look below, each quotation mark is recreated in some sort of puncuation orgy, it's not my fault, I don't know why it happens!, really! I obviously didn't print all those little feckers! why? why? I don't know! I shouldn't be worried about things making me look silly at this age, but hey, just know I didn't make all those grammatical squiggles okay!?

hey kids remember me? I'm the robot pleasure droid thats..em..four times the size of a jeep...em..according to this poster...

Some Superman Chapter Bits, it started out academic *but ended up demented** .per.fucking usual.

*Academic bit:
Superheroic Bodies: The Corporealities of Contemporary Film Superheroes

Section I: Supermen and Wonder Woman

Chapter One:

'Whatever Happened to the Man of Steel?' The Births and Rebirths of Superman.'

He may technically have been an alien from another planet, but Christopher
Reeve’s Superman was one of cinema’s last great traditional heroes. A man who
knew right from wrong, he was a superhero driven by a belief in truth and
justice rather than by childhood trauma and genetic mutation.

Obituary of Christopher Reeve, The Times, 12 October 2004.

In a country dedicated to propositions of progress and the "new", Superman
appeared with his invulnerable body: the body that retains no marks, on which
history cannot be inscribed….Superman was the New Man, the Man of Steel, the Man of Tomorrow…who could suffer the brutalizing shocks of modernity with neither broken bones nor neurasthenic breakdowns. Superior senses and a body so strong that "nothing less than a bursting shell could penetrate his skin" made him the first perfect citizen of the Metropolis.

Scott Bukatman (2003: 197, 202)

Superman actor Christopher Reeve died of a heart attack October 10, 2004, aged 52, he had been paralysed from the neck down since a fall from a horse at an equestrian competition in Virginia in May 1995. Much of the obituaries and news commentary in the following days either used or played on the terminology of the Superman ethos: "A Man of Steel: Reeve battled like movie superhero until death at 52" The Sun; "Superhuman to the Very End", The Daily Mail; "Christopher Reeve: a super man to know", The Times. Some reimagined Reeve as a 'real-life superhero' not only for the physical aspects of his condition but also for his political support of stem cell research, pitching him as a progressive campaigner against a fundamentalist Christian president.

These articles are an interesting starting point for showing how the almost 70-year-old Superman mythos continues to be relevant in contemporary society for what it says about the body, gender and masculinity. According to Michael Gove’s "Comment" in The Times :

Superman may have been a creation of the 1930s but his is a myth for our
times….The potency of the Superman myth lies in the perennial human yearning to
escape the constraints of the human condition. To be human is to inhabit a world
of vulnerability and limits. The weakness of the flesh, and its end in death,
frame all human endeavour…Superman appeals as an idea, and has survived as a
character, because he transcends these limitations. (Gove, 2004: 18)

Gove contrasts such larger than life myths of masculinity and the actual physicality of Reeves
'trapped by the frailty of his own body' (Gove, 2004: 18) and considers what effect embryonic stem cell research would have on our conception of humanity, 'Once we turn human life into a means rather than an end, an object not a subject, a toolbox rather than a daughter, we diminish what it means to be human'(Gove, 2004: 18).

For a generation, Christopher Reeve was the definitive screen Superman and one of the first successful big screen superhero franchises from Richard Donner’s Superman: The Movie (1978) to Richard Lester’s Superman II (1980) and Superman III (1983) and Sidney J. Furie's Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987). One of his last roles was a Smallville cameo as Dr. Swann[1], who gives a young Clark Kent (Tom Welling) some information on his intergalactic origins in episodes “Rosetta” Season 2, air date 25 Feb, 2003; and “Legacy” Season 3, air date April 14, 2003).

The Superman films formed a template that subsequent franchises such as the 1980s-1990s Batman franchises followed: a nine year run of four films with quality and financial returns; shifts in tone from mythic and large-scale to smaller more camp and comical tales; groundbreaking multi-media marketing campaigns; distinctive pseudo-classical theme tunes; and actors in 'villain' roles, Gene Hackman (Lex Luthor) and Jack Nicholson (The Joker), almost eclipsing the title star in popularity. One of the major differences of the two franchises is Reeves himself. Whereas the masked Batman (as I will discuss in the next chapter) is often a monosyllabic cipher in which audiences can inscribe their own masculinities and be more easily recast, Reeves personal and physical connection to the role was one of the hallmarks of this film franchise. It would be almost 20 years before another cinema superman appeared in the form of Brandon Routh in Bryan Singer’s Superman Returns in 2006.

[1] This is a reference to Curt Swan one of the longest –serving Superman comics artists working on the character from 1945 until 1995, defining the quintessential look of the character, it is Curt Swan and Murphy Anderson’s Superman that Andy Warhol used for his 1981 iconic screen print. Swan died 1996. and a Superman engraving in featured on his tombstone (Zeno, 2002: 192).

Just added these epigraphs to a section:

2006: Superman returns in more ways that one

“Watching Superman again isn’t just like being a kid again. It’s better!”

DVD Cover of Superman: The Movie (The Christopher Reeve Superman Collection)
“That’s all you were good for! Ten year olds and shut-ins!”

Toni Mannix (Diane Lane) to George Reeves (Ben Affleck) in Allen Coulter’s Hollywoodland (2006)
**Demented bit: Was freaking out a bit this week because I was writing a Superman chapter in a week when a) Hollywoodland came out and b) Superman II: The Richard Donner Cut came out so I've been frantically trying to grab all the quotes and bits needed. Calmed down now though, it's part of the joy of doing film/media studies it's always changing, so you have to keep up, fuck, tempted to start quoting Ferris here.
Or Lebowski: New Shit has come to light, man, there's all these references and your PhD has been owing references all over town including to known film studies academics... man.
You know what's like if you're studying contemporary media, you've gotta be writing down notes in the cinema or when you see a Lynx ad (you know one I mean) ps The Lynx Site(<=ladies and gents read this link! they are honestly connecting Keanu Reeves' choice in The Matrix to whether or not to use Lynx!, what's next? "Use Lynx, that's what Tyler Durden used and then a whole universe of ladies fell on his riny dink!! or when that fucking Deja Vu ad is rammed down your throat 20 times a day.
Sometimes you hear people talking about being 'experts' in contemporary cinema, it's because they've seen Star Wars and ET , fuck them, they didn't have to watch Steel, Barb Wire, Generation X, and Return of the Swamp Thing (Jim Wynorski in the Houseki!!...a little joke there for the one person who a)knows who knows who Wynorski is and b) who watches abc 1 too much*. Anyway my point is there's always film studies academics (hey watch BBC Four any day this week!) who bang on about Alien, Blade Runner, Terminator, The Matrix (I won't make links, you may have heard of them? they're probaly great films, I wouldn't know) etc and act like they're sci-fi film experts but never mention Cherry 2000, Buckaroo Banzai, Space Hunter, fuck, even Enemy Mine 's probably obscure.
Jeez I'm being awful bitter, but you know what it's like, if you're into something, you're into it. Now geek stuff's cool, you've got these people that are mainstream and not really into it but see it's cool and maybe academically lucrative to be into it and suddenly they're asking questions about what they should watch and read. I've got questions from people at conferences where've they said stuff like 'how do I get into this superhero stuff?' my real world answer is giving them a booklist and ideas and such (but my internal monologue is : "Get a fucking time machine and go back in fucking time and spend all your lonely teenage years reading comics, sci-fi, and watching movies of the same ilk and then you'll be into it. ) It's just me, I've watched so many 'behind the scenes' documentaries (sorry that's a bit grand, featurettes, fuck! that's a bit grand: glorified trailers!) where fomer-cheerleaders-turned actresses appear on the red carpet claiming that Spider-man/Daredevil/Hulk/Ghost Rider/whatever's out this week is their favorite superhero ever, when it's painfully obvious that they've never read a comic or even seen a vaguely geeky film because they were too busy drinking lots, taking drugs, and having sex. but now they want be in such a film, or are actually in such a film and have to pretend that they're into it. Ahh
*That wasn't any in joke for anyone I know, I would be genuinely pleased/surprised if anyone thought that was funny.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

"Special Edition"

The "Complete" Superman Collection

Ahh the Christopher Reeve Superman Collection, I'm hugging my copy as we speak....

A big aul' Superman DVD tin, that'll be 55 quid please it should be fireproof at that price.

That's it I've finally given in...

To the Superman box set madness, I just couldn't take it anymore and was writing my Superman chapter and I had some spare cash and, and, and, whatever, there's no justifying it I just spend £35 on the new Superman box set (it is worth it: it would take you over 12 hours to wtach everything) but more of that later, first the story of the never ending Superman box sets.

First of all there was this baby, The Superman/Superman II Special edition which I got a few years ago for 12.99, hey I thought, at least I've got the 2 good ones and I'm sure the other two will be cheap enough on DVD soon enough. No such luck for the hapless geek, the videos for Superman III and Superman IV are deleted on video and relatively rare and expensive to buy on their own on DVD because they had this set to hawk (came out in 2005) . It costs about £19.99 and has all four movies, with all the same features and little else from the £12.99 version.

2006 arrives and now there's The "Christopher Reeve Collection" including the 1978 and 2000 extended version of Superman: The Movie and the original and Richard Donner Cut of Superman II and Superman III and Superman IV and Superman and the Mole Men (1951) and 17 of the Max Fleischer Shorts and lots more.

It is great but only definitive when this bad boy comes out ! Is there no rest for the box set geek, I doubt the Steel one will be as big.

The Ribs of Beef grammatically incorrect taxi, wonder how much the ad cost?!

I'm getting like my dad...

He's a teacher you see and would often go in an berate shop-owners if their signs were grammatically incorrect, like "Plum's 50p a lb", he's be in going, "what do the plums own?".

There's a pub in Norwich called The Ribs of Beef and they advertise on taxies and of these
fuckers is parked across the street, visible from my window, and it's wrecking my head as it reads:

"Ribs of Beef. Free House. The Cities Favourite Local"

Shouldn't this be "The City's Favourite Local"? Even if the pub thinks Norwich is two cities is would be the Cities' Favourite Local. Check out the pic above they're really proud of this 'moronmobile' and parade it around Norwich all day as an advertisment for potential pub customers who can go and drink ales safe in the knowledge there won't be any wise guys pointing out spelling and stuff. Plus I don't remember being around for the election when they were voting the 'City's Favourite Local'!

I may be sounding like a pernickety old man, but John over at Counago & Spaves would understand.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

I'm intrigued as to what the "winged shaft of fate" is! bought loads of these and other Warren comics on O'Connell Street from a newstand, he would never reveal his source but the stroy was they came from shipping ballasts.

The great Bruce Timm

No time to blog: here's some pics that express the inside of Jimmny's noggn, (found this on one of my favourite artists, Bruce Timm, draws one of my favourite characters...Vampirella (well I wasn't gonna say Buffy!)

check this out! My sister and her boyfriend got me this in America! it's got 30 points of articulation and is giving all my other action figures a serious complex!....

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Muse Knights of Cydonia

Ole Zam sent me this link, is this the Badbrute? we need clarification, good vid all the same.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Lost, paa, what about The Prisoner....

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

and the Stephen King's The Langoliers!

Grrrr I'm a surly man, and I take my top off and act like a prick....coz de ladies like that they do....

Lost lunacy

Listen to Iain Lee, Geeky Tom and Paul as they are forced to listening to a gibbering Irish maniac on the phone,

check out my second Lost podcast here

I appear around about 28 minutes in, leave the lorcy last! how do I know? I've just listened to it, and i don't appear too mad which is heartening as I hadn't left the house for about two days. I don't buy into the series as much as the other callers and emphasise that Lost is a show with connections with other sci-fi shows and films. But I do gibber, I got a crazy reaction though,

"wow! that guy needs to get a job..." quothith the lost podcasters.

They edited out my Langoliers geeky reference, so it just makes it seems like I'm repeating the fact that they all know about the Stephen King book being Carrie, without including the fact that I mentioned the Langoliers, as soon as I heard about Lost I said to myself, 'that sounds a bit like 'The Langoliers' and then I keeled over and blubbed in my own geeky filth and everyone in the world went on about Lost and cryed into my pillow and blubbed..."but what about The Prisoner....but what about The Langoliers...but what about whatever..... feck ye's all...etc..."

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

John Barrowman on Jonathan Ross - Part 1/3

"Would you fuck a monkey?" and slappers versus seagulls!...

Saturday, November 18, 2006

oooh those there plasma rifles is makin me made now!..

c'chin the master chief is ready!

this plasma's for you...

The Tao of Halo 2...on Legendary.

I love this guy, Mike Miler, author of the Halo 2 on Legendary Walkthough

this is great bit if you've attempted Halo 2on legendary, you'll really dig this!

In any case, once you deal with the stragglers outside (and discard your SMG in favor of the plasma pistol in the process), approach the front entrance of the building ahead and prepare for—big surprise—two elites and a couple of grunts who run down the stairs. Finish them off and head up the stairs to the second level balcony. So far, so good...nice defensive position, so let's take a minute to...
By now, the Chief has most likely fallen to the ground dead, a shocked and puzzled expression undoubtedly still frozen on his face beneath the helmet, his aura of strength and invincibility dispelled in a single pink shot.
Meet your new nemesis: the jackal sniper.
Allow me to editorialize for a minute in order to express properly how much I despise this new enemy. It's not so much that they're difficult; indeed, once you go through the initially torturous, brute-force process of memorizing their locations one cheap death at a time, they are more or less downgraded from the level of aneurysm-inducing frustration to severe nuisance. My problem at this point is largely with the way that they shatter the immersion of the game. It's just ridiculous when you can watch every other enemy in the game except drones—including your unshielded marines, and even grunts, for God's sake—absorb multiple beam rifle shots, and yet the Chief, icon of the series, with his fancy armor and upgraded shield, always dies from a single shot. This sort of incongruity serves only to reduce the experience from that of a balanced, consistent interactive world to typical, cheap video game capriciousness. There's also the fact that the presence of jackal snipers, with their one-shot kills and supernatural accuracy and reaction time, tends to limit your options in many areas, subverting the open-endedness of the combat which otherwise is the series' best quality. Bungie, if you're listening: please...don't do this to us again, ok? It's just annoying.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

pixies _ hey

wow! totally cool! it's like a cover of that Youtube girl's 'hey' song lol

see what happens larry, do see what happens when you do a PhD? Do you see what happens Larry? Do you see what HAPPENS?? when you do a PhD in your Brain...?

Two Whole Years of The Life and Times of Jimmny Homunculus! 2 years of the small bags of crap!

Happy Birthday to Jimnny: a Secret History of The Life and Times of Jimmny Homunculus.

From this first official post "Small bags of crap" dated November 14 2004 I have been annoying my unfortunate readers with madness, sexual frustration and geeky ramblings.
Secretly, I like that my first post was called "small bags of crap" as it was an apt description of the little dollops of madness I inflicted on the general populace. This was actually my first post, (but blogger for some reason put the dog poo one first) it's crazy that my first post involved discussions of Halo when I am now 2 years later trying to finish Halo 2 on legendary, after finishing Halo on legendary (I apologise for Blogger's quirks where all apostrophes transmute into spazed out punctuation orgies! )

Anyway, if you can hang on a while, this will be a mega long post summarizing the madness of Jimmny Homunculus and some of my 4am thoughts on what I cam here to say.

Valwentie's Day sucky wucks...

Feck Valentine's Day 1
Feck Valentine's Day 2
Letter from St. Valentines's

with this picture I frequently dicussed my discust for St. Valentine's Day, hey, it's an alright thing, I just get annoyed that people who choose to be single have to stay away from resturants and pubs on Feb 14th like people with no legs and half an eye. Most couples go, hey! you can come out on St. Valentine's day! no one's stopping you! Indeed, no one is stopping us, but if we did go out on this oafish day and observed your googly eyed antics we would have to kill you with blunt objects! So it's better if we stayed in, and remember all yous couples: you're only one mischosen word away from being single! see yous later down the disco!!

early attempts at explaining Jimmny Homunculus

The madness of Being a PhD student

Procrastinate Now!

Liking She-Hulk:
Ah the She Hulk Painting Wot I did...

The Kitchen Porter Years

Me head's in a rancid bin!
The auld kitchen humour
Twitch of Death Labia

Being Horny
Fist Biter Blues
Carmen Electra (is that her given name??)
Dirty Walkman (remember them pre-ipod yokes?)
Sleaze Channel 4!
Pudding and porn

an average 'I wil kill god' rant I totally will, that fucking dude's been asking for it since, like, forever.

some film ugly balls! cube lube crackhead!

As always Frank Black is not too far from me heart

There's a perfect explanation for the shit that I've been in
Soon as I find out, I'll let you know
And If it's any consolation well your horse is goin' to win
cause mine and all the others are just. too. slow
("Coastline", Frank Black and the Catholics-Show me your tears)

that's it fer know, more soon no doubt!

your driver is jocko

Beckett Meets Grand Theft Auto!

One of the problems of trying to write the madness what I do is some crazy late night procrastination sessions. Last night was a doosie. I was looking up wikipedia stuff on Halo and Bungie's other revolutionary games. I found out about an unreleased Penn and Teller Video game called Penn and Teller's Smoke and Mirrors . Desert Bus is one of the most amazing game concepts ever: [from wikipedia]:

The objective of the game is to drive a bus from Tucson, Arizona to Las Vegas, Nevada in real time at a maximum speed of 45mph, a feat that would take the player 8 hours of continuous play to complete, as the game cannot be paused. The bus contains no passengers, and there is no scenery or other cars on the road. The bus veers to the right slightly; as a result, it is impossible to tape down a button to go do something else and have the game end properly. If the bus veers off the road it will stall and be towed back to Tucson, also in real time. If the player makes it to Las Vegas, they will score exactly one point. The player then gets the option to make the return trip to Tucson—for another point (a decision they must make in a few seconds or the game ends). Players may continue to make trips and score points as long as their endurance holds out. Some players who have completed the trip have also noted that, although the scenery never changes, a bug splats on the windscreen over halfway through the first trip, and on the return trip the light does fade, with differences at dusk, and later a pitch black road where the player is guided only with headlights.

stay behind be kate coz, there's like some danger or stuff here, maybe, it's like a bear or smoke or somthin' or I forgot or whatever....

Lost Season 3: It's crept up like a cat hasn't it!

I don't know what to think about Lost Season 3, it's alright I suppose, but it doesn't say much. I was on the new Lost Podcast thing today, pretty much like the last one but on Sky. Instead of going to a studio you do a phone in thing, it's quite fun.

Get this though, I had been indoors writing my thesis and playing halo 2 on legendary for about two days and the first thing I said to another hooman beeing was on a Lost podcast so I was rambling like a loon on the phone. They didn't know what I was saying and I could hear the other folks on the podcast giggling at my rambles, but I had some good points:

[in the parlance of web spoilers: ] This all refers to Lost Season 3 wot is on Sky on Sunday so don't read me ramblin's if u don't wan de spoily things.

1. Jack refers to himself as a "Repo Man" , in Alex Cox's great 1984 film of the same name all food and drink products have white labels with names like "beer" "food" and "gin" written on them, kinda like the dharma crowd wha?

2. The cages that Kate and Sawyer are in are a bit like the ones in Escape from the Planet of the Apes.

3. The Other's Village is a bit like, you know, The Village in The Prisoner, which is like Lost before it existed and 100 times better, cos it ended before it outstayed its welcome.

4. The 'Others' have a book club* where they discuss Stephen King's Carrie. King's Story 'The Langoliers' in Four Past Midnight on American Pride Flight 29 from Los Angeles to Boston all passengers disappear except for those asleep, and they find that everyone in the world has disappeared! mmmm

5. Ps: Elizabeth Mitchell plays Juliet in Lost Season 3, and she looks a bit like Carrie Anne Moss who played a character called Juliet in a 1994 film called...Lost. Mitchell has a file with all Jacks' life facts in it like ole Agent Smith in that ole timey Matrix film where they did de digital dance of smacks.

*Wait a fucking minute, the fucking Others have a book club? weren't they wispy animalistic killers, who we didn't know if they were human or not? well turns out they are human and they like book clubs and shit. Fucking wanker others.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

The Electric Company - Spidey Meets the Spoiler


Check the first song on They Might Be Giants' myspace page, pity it's not downloadable

Monday, November 13, 2006

Telgram from the edge: Deadline tomorrow *stop*can't blog*stop*The Life and Times of Jimmny Homunculus Two years old tomorrow!*stop* fun times will ensue*stop*

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Borat Infomercial

I know it's Borat overload...

No doubt you're sick of Borat stuff but I like the way that in this Salon article some of the people supposedly embarrassed by their Borat appearance just keep digging their own grave whenever they talk to the media in follow up articles, take that Rodeo guy:

What happened: The event caused quite a stir. John Saunders, the Salem Civic Center's assistant director, told the Roanoke Times that if Borat and crew hadn't high-tailed it out of the arena, "There would have been a riot. They would have been killed."

Rowe told Salon that he'd agreed to let Borat sing, believing the story that Borat was a Kazakh journalist traveling across the country. Rowe says he requested a sample track, but was sent a blank CD. And what about those anti-gay comments? Rowe, who says he hasn't seen the film, didn't disavow them, but instead offered a curious rationale:

"As long as [homosexuals] don't mess with me and get me involved, if that's their choice, just have at it. Just don't come in my household and try to demand, as they're doing now, all sorts of things. All this marriage and this mess. If you want to go live together, go live together, but don't drag everyone else into it. It's, like, before you could just pump your gas, but the thieves ruined it for everyone. Now everyone has to go pay for their gas first. Homosexuals, they want their rights for marriage and all this stuff, and they want respectability. If you want to live that life, live that life, but don't involve the whole rest of the country."

Is Rowe concerned about how he comes off in the film? "I'm not really worried about it," he says. "It can't be so bad that I can't survive. No one's coming and trying to eat me."

I can't wait until the technology is invented when you can just look directly in to peoples' brains because the interior of that guy's noggin would be insane: with gay people as some sort of petrol thieves that come into his house to try and eat him!!

Thursday, November 09, 2006


Dawn Of The Replicants: Scottish Indie @ SxSW & Alamo


fleeting moment of off-screen fame

dawn of the replicants Mean Fiddler Dublin 1 May 1998!

Jimmny's 3 Seconds of Off-Screen Fame!!!

So I gave up the auld rollies for the last time two weeks ago and as a special treat got The Dawn of the Replicants' The Singles: Bust the Trunk. It includes a Bonus DVD ('Bust yer Peepers') with all their videos and two docmetnaries by spoken previously of my youthful times with these fine folks.

Anyway when watching the DVD documentary on 'The East West Years', when 'the Reps' were on the same label as Simply 'I'm Mick Hucknall' Red spotted their 1998 gig at the Mean Fiddler gig in Dublin that I attended then, as if my magic I heard my voice in the background of a backstage bit where I'm talkign to Paul Vickers about (what else?) Science Fiction Freak . Later when some of the badn are finding their hotel room room, Grant Pringle goes, 'where's Lorcan?' meagre fame but it made my day, was great to see the band in action.

Tom Tom Tomington

Tom Tom Tomington

One of our staff at the Rose is a fine upstanding young man called Tom Moran. I anyways have a bittersweet anticipation of the start of a shift with Tom, there's alwasy some drama or bizarre tale. My favourite was, me going 'alright Tom, how's it going?'

and the tired rumpled answer 'Oh I had to sleep in my garage last night....on an ironing board....'

it was a long tale of him being locked out of a house by a house mate and then cutting his arms in a letterbox trying to get at keys or a lock or something then resigning himself to sleeping in the garage on an ironing board ( I recently found out it was collapsed so slightly less precarious) and then having to got to work.

Anyway he does a great comedy show on UEA's Live Wire called The Comedy Worm with Paul who DJ's Here. You can download an episode Here.

Tom also had what I hear was an amazing Stand-Up comedy deubt at the Workshop so when he the new Eddie Izzard, I can have documentary blog-style proof that I said he was good!!

Do you need a special fright break for Saw III?

Do you have the guts to sit in this chair!!!

See what happens...

When I don't blog, the likes of poor Bob Bryne has to take up the flack as I infect the comments board of his great blog. He went see Boarat (it's some sort of comedy film, I haven't heard much about it have you?) anyway I went on some rants about the legal raminfications of it and the fact that obviously there's about 10 times more footage of sketches going wrong that we actually get to see. thankfully after all that ranting I did find evidence of the guff I was spouting in this Slate article about the legal ramifications of Borat.

My rant grew out of frustration not with Borat, but with Saw III, and not even Saw III which was pretty bad and total bobbins, but with all the doe-eyed urban legend suckers that say things like 'oh such and such fainted' and, I swear to god someone at work said this today:

' They had to close a screen in UCI cause someone puked during Saw III and it hit about three rows!'

There are news reports like BBC News my favourite bit is this:

"There was also a case of a 22-year-old woman passing out at Cineworld in Cambridge on Friday, but it had not been confirmed that she was watching Saw III, he added. "

.....And down Prince of Wales Road in Norwich about 100 people collapsed, near the cinema, but it was not confrimed whether they were actually in the cinema or the nearby Lloyds drinking Stella till it pickled their cranial membrane.

Thing is, I'm just bitter I used to love horror films but then I hit 18 and found I could watch anything I want, i.e. porn so didn't need bad horror and sci-fi for titilation. I also had (and have obviosuly) a huge interest in special effects (ask my mam sometime about my bulbous headed zombie outfit I scared an aunt with one time, her recounting of it always makes me laugh) but, when you take into account what's possible, the Saw movies have pretty shit special effects.

Thus, here are some of the things the suck about Saw III:

* Whenever a gross moment is about happen the camera goes shakey and there's loud music and flashy editing to detract from the lack of good special effects.

*It makes no sense! Again, hand up I am a horror geek, but I still want my trash to make sense, in the first Saw, we are told that the Brion James type killer guy Jigsaw dude starts his campaign to torture these people so they understand the gift of life after a cnancer diagnosis, in Saw III there's all this bollix about how it's his life's work!

*In this age of terror threat madness and surveillance, how the fuck can you build gigantic warehouses with mocked up houses inside filled with explosives, guns, spikes, baldes etc., without being discovered.

* Does his dictaphone/video camera/scary puppet supplier not get suspicious

*Why does he never die, oh yeah, I remember these are really cheap money that make fuckloads from gulliable fans like me.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Sorry Robin, Batman needs some 'grown-up time' run along now, I'll tuck you in later....

Batman Paaarttyyy

I found a cardboard box (it was a box from a desk fan) that fitted over my head, kind of like whe I found a plant pot that fitted on me noggin for my Judge Dredd opus cut scary batman eyeholes and a grumpy batman mouth attatched it to a big cardboard shoulder brace shape thing and covered the lot in heavy duty bin bags and black insulating tape.

I had to keep going back to the hardware shop for more tape and bin bags in the matter of a serial killer, I should have said something like, 'can I get some more tape, it's still twitchin' but thought better of it. I can see why batsy doesn't get the ride much, you can't see or hear anything in such a suit I looked like a cross between batman, a gimp and a gimp robot.

Even though I haven't a digital camera after this incident, the wonders of facebook means I can show you results of my bin bag/tape masterpiece thanks to Geraldo and Steph for the pics, and thanks to facebook, cause it's the drunkards friend, you can stay up till 7am and get totally hammered meet cool people, then forget their names, then find out what their names were by looking them up on facebook, I can't help thinking of the 'facebook' from the Evil Dead movies though.nYou don't want to know what I think of when I hear the word 'My Space',

With a gurn like this, one can see how a Batman boxhead is a good idea!

The illusion begins as I don the amazing Batman costume, note the Mexican Edward Sisscorhands

Batman like's his yellow drinking mug he fills it beer and them jams the juice in his bathole till his eyes go red!

Various ladies also wore the costume, so even a badly made gimp batman costume gets more action than me...


Batman meets Wonder Woman!

Bat Mummy raises the finger to order a Carling baby

run away batman!....

Friday, November 03, 2006


Like Robocop meets 'The Office' (Meets Wonder Woman!) Neill Blomkamp the guy down to direct Halo, this is excellent

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Damn! no time to blog until Monday so you'll have to make do with bizarre pics I find. I love Vice's resident cartoonist Johnny Ryan:, this is from the Vice Student special. I like the Dalek fucker, what is his lad going into?

New pixies documentary! Out Nov 6! I hate being broke!