Q: Who are Standup Comedians?

A: People who are smart and stay in their rooms and have found that they have the ability to endear themselves to people for short periods of time 10, 15, 20, minutes an hour, an hour and a half tops, maybe.

They slowly realize that a fulfilling life involves endearing yourself to people for periods that are longer, more like days, weeks, years, a life time, that sort of thing.

This fact makes them go back to their rooms where they try to figure out how this could be possible.

The answer to this is not doing stand up comedy, by which time they also realize that this is the only thing they now know how to do.

Then, they either then a) die b) become unfunny or c) live long lives…often the same thing and then die but their previous funniness has been erased by their subsequent life and unfunniness.


As they get lowered into the grown they say 'hey! what's up with this lining, this isn't what I asked for'...to an unappreciative audience...of three.