Magnum 6G Personal Defense Weapon System, or god forbid the plasma pistol, the 5 for a pound neon plastic purple disposable lighter of the Halo world.
Like the other day, I started Fallout 3, where you have to choose important things like your sex, race and bad haircut etc about six seconds after your born. Now, I was balancing up options whether a heavy set black man would be able to survive the harsh post-apocalyptic more than a hot Asian lady, who might either bamboozle the mutants with sexual wiles or get killed easily. Then I thought I was over-thinking the game and chose a generic Caucasian goon. Plus, my name in the game is ‘Cuntybollix’, only because I wanted Liam Neeson playing my da to say it. He did say it was a lovely name though and I look forward to the day when the dread king Cuntybollix rules the postapocalyptic wasteland with and iron mutoid claw. I gave up and am still wandering around the vault looking for fucking bobby pins to open a door and getting pummelled because you have to pull up a computerized system and click loads of options to get a gun to fire and then you end up in your pants for no reason (mmm achieving nothing and ending up in my pants for no reason, maybe Fallout 3 is like real life.)
See I really was more first person shooter kind guy, it had that lovely fluid quality and movement compared to watching the arse of some thick soilders are they give each other high fives and blow up terrorists (I'm looking at you Army of Two, idiots). But Bayonetta is like 8 foot tall and has guns attached to her high heels! If I am to play a third person game, at least make it something interesting to watch.
I had not really experienced quick time events before, it's like you're watching a cut scene that you can get killed in repeatedly for no reason. Again there are certain 'realism' rules, you fight flying upsidedown angel things, some shaped like ships! some just a big weel on fire or a gigantic pixalated planet with a red fiery ball inside it but when you get a pair of haunted ice skates you can only wear them on your feet, I mean I can already fly a bit and turn into a panther and my body hair comes off and turns into a parrot the size of a double decker bus to eat some angel gobshite why can't I wear haunted ice skates on my hand if I want to? Check out the madness: