A bit of culture for the day that's in it.

"Stand up there and recite it man, said Furriskey, don't keep us waiting. What's the name of it now?

The name or title of the poem I am about to recite, gentlemen, said Shanahan with leisure priest-like in character, is a pome by the name of the 'Workman's Friend'. By God you can't beat it. I've heard it praised by the highest. It's a pome about a thing that's know to all of us. It's a about a drink of porter:

The Workman's Friend

When things go wrong and will not come right,
Though you do the best you can,
When life looks black as the hour of night-
A PINT OF PLAIN IS YOU ONLY MAN.


When Money's tight and is hard to get
And your horse has also ran,
When all you have is a heap of debt--
A PINT OF PLAIN IS YOUR ONLY MAN.


When health is bad and your heart feels strange,
And your face is pale and wan,
When doctors say that you need a change,
A PINT OF PLAIN IS YOUR ONLY MAN

When food is scarce and your larder bare
And no rashers grease your pan,
When hunger grows as your meals are rare--
A PINT OF PLAIN IS YOUR ONLY MAN.


In time of trouble and lousy strife,
You have still got a darlint plan,
You still can turn to a brighter life-
A PINT OF PLAIN IS YOUR ONLY MAN.

Flann O'Brien (1939),At Swim-Two-Birds from Penguin Modern Classics edition, 1985 (pp76-77)

Yippee St Patrick's Day has arrived, a day where we celebrate being converted to fecking Catholicism by acting like depraved heathens, you can see why I like it so. Perhaps I'll meet a Leprechaun like this, but it will probably look more like this.