Time travel doughnut John Cusack dream….
At work I have to go and do the shopping every morning. So I have to shrug as I buy like 16 packs of butter and a five 4 pint bottles of milk and 3 loaves of bread at Tesco, as if I go home and roll around in lots of butter in a Marlon Brando stylee. Anyway, I usually buy some doughnuts for the kitchen staff for the craic and general sugar rush, as if we need it after all the sugary tea. It must be affecting my psyche. Last night I actually had a whole 8 hours sleep, like all in a row, not over two separate nights, and I had a dream involving doughnuts. Today when I was doing the shopping I had to write down a note on the reverse of my list to remember this fine dream, I wrote:
“Time-travelling doughnut dream, 1881, John Cusack time police…mention electricity”
It was a nuts dream. I had to travel back in time for some reason to sample some really fucking class-A type of doughnut that we, with all our modern clockwork bum-machines have forgotten about. So in a Douglas Coupland-style ‘wouldn’t it be nice to time-travel with all the right disease immunity shots’ way I started hanging out in this 1800s setting. These doughnut-makers were cool guys, some sort of anarchists or some shit. So I started hanging out with them. They were the underclass in these big stately homes and I was really appreciating their fucking doughnuts while fat stately home types where throwing them against the walls and leaving them for their hunting dogs saying ‘blaawwhh…these doughnuts are shit..’
Anyway, I was trying to cheer them up by telling them about all the cool shit that’s going to happen like electricity, DVDs and people really digging their doughnuts, and suddenly I see John Cusack all in black like he’s some sort of Timecop guy and he starts going “NO! you can’t tell them that!” and we starting fighting like that ‘Thanks for the pen’ bit in Grosse Point Blank when he’s fighting the stumpy Russian guy by the lockers.
Then I woke up, so I don’t know who won… I mentioned this to 'CS' one of our chefs and dead pan he just goes...'you watch too much sci-fi man'...
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