Thursday, August 27, 2009


The lime kinda likes the eager oral sex orange but it's had enough and is giving the poor wee orange the tap on the head to say, a la Gaff, "You did a man's job sir, it's too bad she didn't come, but then again who does....."

But the Lime loooves the comin cherry....

So yon Badbrute sent me a link via boing boing on the supposedly pornographic nature of the lovely wee Maoam sweets, with the hilarious missive 'Better find some new material Chief' ha ha, not all my material concerns copulating sweets.

I'm a purveyor of highly fizzy and sour sweets that most give up when they get to their early 30s, replacing such e-number madness with a number or e madnesses. I still eat this sort of shit and always laughed at the wrappers. It was included in my powerpoint comedy lecture on sex and superheroes, that the lovely Amy Wragg, Jim 'The Legend' Thompson, and Hannah Jones of the legendary Soapbox crowd in Norwich put up on youtube.

From the SoapBox Arts Festival, June 6th 2009 at Norwich Arts Centre:

This was part of the wider theme of my work pointed out by the Badbrute that my fine art works Which can be seen here have absolutely no subtext. I tie the Moaom stuff into comics and toys etc that can be read in a sexual way, hilarity ensues, but anything that has already been in the Daily Mail has a limited shelf life. I'll have to cut it from the act because I'll do it some time and people will think I was inspired by this shite in the Daily Mail rather than my own geeky loneliness.

As pointed out by Cakehead Loves Evil the Sun picked up on the story (with the hilarious title Get a room you chew) three day's after Miss Cakehead discussed the original letter to the Daily Mail.

Then the plot thickens as computer nerd, poet and damned evil gamer Mr. Stephen Hollywood alerts me to the presence of the below post implying that the whole thing is a publicity stunt. The fact that the complainer is the almost sitcomesque 'Stephen Simpkins' and the fact that, despite his horror at this 'pornography' (has anyone ever jacked/jilled one off to a sweet wrappers?) would lend this some creedence. As I mentioned to Mr. Hollywood, perhaps I could become a Haribo spokesperson, but then I would surely die from a Haribo 'Tangtastic' binge with a sour apple loop stretched around my wee lad while trying to fashion a autoasphyxiation noose out of jelly snakes.

Was Maoam 'carnal' complaint letter a publicity stunt?

Surely the whole tone of this letter was designed to kick up the kerfuffle it has:

"The other day, while doing our weekly shop, I bought for my two children Benjamin and Ofelia, a packet of Haribo Maoam lemon-and-lime confectionery." Benjamin and Ofelia? eating Moaoms? I doubt it. The letter in full is a great piece of fiction:

"The other day, while doing our weekly shop, I bought for my two children Benjamin and Ofelia, a packet of Haribo Maoam lemon-and-lime confectionery. It was only after I was leaving the checkout that I noticed the appalling illustration on the packaging.

This consists of a lemon and lime locked in what appears to be a carnal encounter. The lime, who I assume to be the gentleman in this coupling, has a particularly lurid and distasteful expression on his face.

I demanded to see the shop manager and during a heated exchange my wife became quite distressed and had to sit down in the car park.

I was told to register my complaint with the manufacturer. I'm glad I spotted this before my young children, who are both very sensitive.

My wife and I have always tried to maintain their innocence -- and to think our years of careful parenting could have been wrecked by, of all things, a sweet wrapper makes me livid.

I received a reply from the company saying that the wrapper design had been introduced in Germany in 2002 with a view to making the fruit figures 'more modern and lively' to 'better appeal to the consumer.' It said 'at no point was it intended to create sexual images.' It had been shown to a number of children and adults of different age groups, none of whom has made any comments referring to sexual content.

I consider this response to be less than satisfactory. As a member of our local church, I'm now urging other members of our flock to boycott Haribo products until this illustration is removed.

Pontefract, West Yorkshire"

Nice touch with the boycott ending, so now everyone is at least going to have a second look at these wee chews. Seems to be designed to provoke a Daily Mail readership.

Also interesting that he is from Pontefract, and parent compant Haribo happend to manufacture the Pontefract cake.

As a commenter on the Brand Republic piece says, someone had pointed this out in 2004 anyway:

Justinland: Fruity Snacks

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