Friday, August 24, 2007

Bleak august thoughts made better through tv...who'd a thunk it...



The postings, are being a bit superficial of late, lots of pictures and videos, no genuine ramblings from young Jimmny, a lucky escape, indeed for yous all. 'August' doesn't really cover the current reign of bleakness, I propose it should be called 'Bleak August' or 'Blaugust' in future.

Sometimes when you work a few jobs at once it can be ok beacuse whe you fuck up in one, you're doing alright in the other, but when you marginally fuck up in all of them at once it's horrible and the bleakness of this supposed August doesn't help much. Like, today I had to wear my Trespass jacket, it's warm and fucntional and all, but it makes me look like the fucking Unabomber or something.

This morning the whole place was so bleak and empty I almost convinced myself while attempting to get up and do laundry that an actual zombie attack had occurred. Not this kind of wank, but really on a psychological level if it happened. I was thinking, 'right so it's pissing rain, the zombie must work on some sort of smell basis, that and movement and visibility, perhaps, for once the rain will be my friend' 'First priority, go to Budgens and loot as much Amber Leaf, Jamesons, Diet Coke and err...maybe food...as possible' 'then, an attempt to get to the butchers, hopefully there'll be so much live meat running about that the zombies won't care about the dead meat from the butchers, so I can nip in steal all the serious knives and sharpeners nip to the hardware shop, with the big knive, get as much nails as possible board up the whole place and watch my Battlestar Galactica box set while drinking Jamesons and smoking Amber Leaf...and wait until everone in Norwich eats each other, I looked up the population it's only like 129,500 that won't take that long, time for the Firefly box set, The Prisoner and Sledge Hammer! Job done, see in all the zombie movie the fatal flaw was like moving around too much and trying to find out what's going on, doesn't matter millions of people are dying right now and there's no zombie attack and people do more or less the same thing, zombie attack, it's just one of those thing. People keep panicking about global warming, they just read/watch enough sci-fi and comics, I thought we'd all be eating Soylent Green whilst been buggered by monkey robots in spikey cars, a few hurricanes the least of it.

For every hero in a zombie movie, there's probably about 50 people just kicking back having a nice time, waiting for everone to eat each other...

This is just a summary of my reverie there was a long bit on improvised weapons constructed from belts, my weight set and the planks from under my bed....


I'm sure having an ipod that's 85 percent Frank Black at any one time can't help, have gone for some MIA, LCD Soundsystem, Half Man, Half Biscuit and Spike Jones (the first one) to lighten the mood, feck it I'm tempted to just make the ipod all Spike Jones and Bob Wills and His Texas Playboys and as much Buzzola cds as it can handle...in your face Blaugust





Anyway, thankfully H-Factory came round and saved the day by bringing around the Star Stories dvd and the second series episodes her mam had burnt for her and we had beer and pizzas and then I watched some lovely Fry at 50 documentaries on BBC Four, so the day ended up ok, no postapocalyptic cataclysms as of yet...but there's always tomorrow....

3 comments:

trollop23 said...

Wait a few weeks, and then hit the hospital and stock up on antibiotics (and Percodan for those nights when you want to feel sparkly)then scoop a military vehicle for nightly recon missions for food and smokes.
I know it's not a logical fear, but the impending zombie apocalypse is something that freaks the shit out of me. It freaks me out so badly that I have a plan in place.
I recommend reading the Zombie Survival Guide (http://www.randomhouse.com/crown/zombiesurvivalguide/) for tips.
As for your "down-in-the-dumpsies", are you feeling a bit homesick after seeing the family for your sister's wedding? Hope you cheer up soon, hon!

Lorcy said...

christ, no chance of that if I finish the post that I'm planning right now...

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