Monday, July 17, 2006

Super Mother Fuckin Sunday!

You know what the best Sundays are? the one's where it's so good you forget it's Sunday. The ones that don't involve looking at T4 and Lost repeats and sleeping and waiting until it's all over because the horror of Monday mornings is fun compared to the gaping void of Norwich Sundays.
Anyway this Sunday was diffrent 12-4 working at the Rose for their busy roast shift meant a free pint and a free roast, free food is so good, but I still couldn't finish it. The esteemed 'Double H' called by as we were going to see Superman Returns. I, of course, was in my Superman T-Shirt,*hardcore* we went to HMV first where, in a moment of schronicity, the new Frank Black Album Fast Man Raider Man I was looking for was in a section under a big Superman logo (remember them before the wee leathery lookin' one?) which was made up out of many DVD covers, I mistakenly grabbed one thinking it was some sort of 20 DVD £500 all of Superman/Superboy/Superpup/Superdog shows on DVD ever, it wasn't, it was just a display. Double H nabbed Spaced series two for £5.99, the most amazingest purchase. More of Frank Black above.

(spoilers, ahead, maybe, I don't know 'spoilers' for me are kids who say to their mams 'that bit woz in de trailer!' really loudly, what the fuck! what'd do they fuckin' want a fucking biscuit for remembering something they saw on TV an hour before they saw the movie??)


Anyway on to Superman Returns, a great film, all I can honestly say was 1. I didn't cry as much as I thought I would do. 2. I wasn't whooping in the aisles as much as I thought I would be, but I genuinely liked it. The Christian allegory is more of the 'yeah so what' variety, it's more a question why it was highlighted so much in the media, plus the fact that surely a hero that gets all his power from our sun (sun worshipper?) is more pagan than anything. Another thing that throws a super-spunk spanner in the Jesus works is why is the film is so forceful in making sure we know Superman has fathered a son (out of wedlock no less), just to make sure we don't think he's gay, which ironically makes him seem more gay--man I've met a lot of old gay Irish guys who've abandoned families after 'accidentally' getting married and 'accidentally' fathering kids and giving me grief over my preferences.

This may be stereotypical but the interior design in this movie is to fucking die for. As I said of X-Men III, Singer would have spent a week designing a gun or a door and Ratner would have probably scribbled something with crayon on a bit of toilet paper while having a really watery shit that he thought had ended, but it hadn't.

Superman Returns could have been so wrong but Singer made the best of it without a single prominent American Flag (?) but not as much adult banter as I would have liked. He must love James Marsden (he gets more action in this than X-Men 3) and 'the munchen' is the least annoying 'knows-a-little-bit-too-much-for-his-age' child star of recent memory. Props also for the best Perry White and Jimmy Olsen also, but who wears wee bow ties these days? I know it adds to the timelessness of it all, but who ever wore wee bow ties like that?. Wanted him to say to Perry after he took that pic of Supes carrying the Daily Planet globe: "Is that iconic enough of ya?!?" The facetious part of me, which is a large part, wanted to see Supes take an impromtu zero-gravity piss behind a metorite on his long trip to nowhere.

Kate Bosworth was surprisingly good, but too young and not smart enough, and what about that fucking fainting bit?. Spacey was fucking great, but the only genuine cheer I made during the credits was for Parker Posey, 'teacher's pet, i wanna be teacher's pet'. And what about that almost-like Lost comeuppance for them? And what about the whole anti-smoking biz, do you know a good journalist that doesn't smoke? I thought the boz was fitting that bill, then the taxi driver started the whole explosion with a misplaced stogie and one of the (unspeeking) henchmen gets killed by stealing a big luthor half-smoked stogie. It's like Becker when Ted Danson gets to almost light up but never does, just to show he's a human-hating doctor.

In conclusion one wants, fuck that! I want, to see the humour and charm of Superman: The Movie and Superman II merged with this cgi. But thinking of it, I did believe as a kid a man could fly as a jaded 30-year-old I believed a couple of million dollars of cgi effects could fly but not a man! Kneel before Zod! rack up them peanuts for the evil bar Superman.

At least I can read this Dial B for Blog review now!

1 comment:

Caddy Powers Jr said...

The fainting moment reminded me of the original so I didn't mind it. She had been smacked around a plane another of times - so I forgave it.

My own views of the film are on my blog but short end I felt it was a good movie but had no lasting impact in some regards as most of its great scenes were simply from the original.

I need new iconic moments dammit