Saturday, March 24, 2007

Confessions of a nowbiter...








Nowbiter, if you remember, was the ultrahip magazine that a certain Nathan Barley read in Charlie Brooker's TV Go Home (check it out, it's 50 quid on Amazon! I saw it for 5 quid in York a few years ago and didn't have the cash on me to buy it, drats). Anyway, I fear sometimes that I am a nowbiter, but a secret one, in the confines of my room I dance around to Fabriclive cds and read Vice magazine, but I treat like a guiltly secret like looking at pictures of female body-builders photo manipulated to look green like She-Hulk and she-male porn, not that I would do the latter of course.

Yesterday I downloaded Peter, Bjorn and John's great track Young Folks purely because it was on Edgar Wright's section of his Hot Fuzz celebrity playlist on itunes. I thought it was one of the best tracks I'd heard in ages, even though the week before I downloaded the Gossip's Standing in the Way of Control...but the Soulwax remix, and felt it was one of the best tracks I'd heard in ages and felt like a great big biter. Then I went to see For Your Consideration ( it was great no Guffman, but better than Mighty Wind) at the Playhouse last night. Back in the days of 'Dr. Pepper and the Deev' the Playhouse was a place I ended up in a fair few times, I always used to complain, and still do, a) it's too far away from my house; b) it's too expensive; c) I hate to see all that Bitburger go to waste as inexperienced hipster barpeople spray it all over the place; d) it's always woefully overstaffed: usually six staff, three actually doing something the rest posing around like mooks. (I see from the auld wiki wiki no one really know what Hipster means but I use it cause we all know 'em when we see 'em )

Anyway while there last night 'Young Folks' came on and some girl jumps up and goes "This is my most favorite song ever!" and forces people to get up and dance. She was sitting with this local hipster goon that's about 40-odd and runs a club night and he was there with some 18-year -old looking girl, and she was hanging out of him and I just wanted to get out of the place, you know, and he clocked me looking at him and looked a bit sheepish but no more than he normally does, so he's probably used to it. It's a good tune but no Wave of Mutilation, Common People, Loser, Groove is in the Heart, Shady Lane, Losing My Edge, Last Splash etc. etc. But it just made me realise how uncomfortable I am when being in hip cool places even though I know all the shit they know and listen to the same music, can there not be some sort of quiet club for over 30s single hipsters where we can listen to cool records and read comics without idiots and sleazebags? Damn I'm turning to yon Buscemi from Ghost World...

1 comment:

trollop23 said...

I can fully empathise!
I'd like to open a club called Recovering Goth. The music would play at a volume conducive to good conversation, the age restriction would be 25+, and if you didn't own a pair pointy toed Fluevogs in high school you would be barred from the entrance.
Just kidding - sort of.
But I do miss dancing to Warm Leatherette on Saturday nights.
There's got to be a place out there that plays The Pixies, P.I.L., Chris and Cosey and the like. I'll let you know if I find it.