Saturday, February 11, 2006

Missives from the abstract mines...

Back in the day, I worked in the 'abstract mines' of Dublin for shadowy Mr. Burns types based in Harlem. They figured those there Irish would be good at the auld visual speech type stuff. Our job was summarize American consumer magazines in bit-sized abstracts to make them palatable for Yank libararies (especially in the case of Rosie, this was no mean feat! this magazine was pure gold, sure start a magazine, but appear in the background of every fucking cover even almost choking your star to do so). Anyway my old boss at this job who channels his considerable literary talent into Counago & Spaves and may or may not also know Joseph McManus , who may or may not be a member of the CIA. He sent me this meme after this fine post, how could I refuse!

Seven things I must do before I die

  1. Build a Robocop Chair (that’s a chair made of individual VHS copies of Robocop (original rental versions for the back and main bit, narrower sell-thru covers for the arms). Connected projects are a Robocop 2 coffee table and a Robocop 3 foot stool.
  2. Rip the throat out of an angry dog in mid air before it attacks me for some reason…with my bare hands…I am imagining some sort of post-apocalyptic scenario here)
  3. Dress up like Batman.
  4. Make a decent porn film (I know it’s impossible, but it would be fun trying) .
  5. Open a comic/film studies theme bar.
  6. Write a sitcom/comedy novel.
  7. Paint pictures of the stuff that’s actually in my head.

Seven things I cannot do:

1. Hold on to money in the vicinity of bare breasts.
2. Go to bed at a reasonable hour.
3. Drive a car.

4. Stop rewinding Kinky John speechs in my head.
5. Sleep properly: it’s either too much or too little.

6. Stop watching shite movies
7. Stop comparing everything that happens in real life to some 1980s shite movie or 1990s comedy.

Seven things that attract me to a city:

1. Its comic shops
2. Its minky lady microgoth hangouts
3. Its secondhand book shops.
4. The amount of shops that end in ‘land’ (poundland, iceland QD er land)
5. Its universities and libraries, I just can’t get enough of post apocalyptic arhcitechture.
6. Good off-licences with baskets of cheap, out-of-date beer.

7. Its porn shops.

Seven things I say:

1. like
2. aw for fucks sake
3. hello there, how’s it going.
4. good luck now see ya later
5. aawww She Hulk
6. aw man, this is such a fucking pain in cock.
7. aw cunty bollix

Seven books I like:

1. Tristram Shandy by Lawrence Sterne.
2. The Watchmen by Alan Moore
3. The Man in the High Castle by Philip K. Dick
4. The Sirens of Titan by Kurt Vonnegut
5. At Swim two Birds by Flann O'Brien.
6. The Encyclopedia of Bizarre Sex Practices by Brenda Love.
7. The Psychotronic Video Guide by Michael Weldon

Seven movies that I’ve loved:
2.Buckaroo Banzai
3. Videodrome
4. The Man in the White Suit
5. The Wicker Man
6. Get Carter
7. The Big Lebowski
(oh I’m already imagining watching them all in row)

Seven people to tag:
Dumb Riffs, Badbrute, Lauratooth, Moths of Boredom, Caddy Powers, No one you know, Ernesto.

1 comment:

John said...

We have a worrying amount in common.

Not sure which of us should worry more!