Grindhouse, don't get me fucking started...

On fucking Grindhouse!! This was merely the last straw for a Norwich based film geek like myself. Firstly, I find out Kulture Shock in Norwich is closing and moving to ...wait for it...Beccles, then I find of the two multiplexes in Norwich, neither is showing This Is England ! so they can keep shite like The Last Mimzy (if you see it, tell me whatever happened to the second-last Mimzy? is that going to be in the prequel?) on for another week but they can't risk a screen for what's been lauded as the best British film of the year in a town packed to the fucking gills with film students and a uni nearby that specializes in British cinema?

Young Pietari was telling me for ages that Grindhouse going to be split up into two movies and I just wouldn't believe it, I was so looking forward to a double bill. As you might guess, I love going to the cinema for as long a stint as is humanly possible (my current record is 17 horror films in two and a half days at the Horrorthon ) Ever since the trailers I was geekily going nuts, this was the ulitmate film injoke gone mad, our pal Tarantino was sticking it to the money gubbing 'man' by forcing him to come up with value for money and a long enjoyable night at the cinema in an era of inflated ticket prices and low quality.

But it seems, because of the stupidity of others (i.e. some U.S. audiences supposedly walking out half way through because they misunderstood the concept of the double bill) the discerning viewer who understands it's a fucking double bill because it says it's a fucking double bill in the trailer, will have to shell out twice to see two movies, with all the edited out flab reinstated,. Where will the Edgar Wright trailer go? surely a highlight for British audiences, to see Nick Frost as a baby-eating zombie! (It's on youtube, as are all the trailers if you fancy a bit of spoiling!)

I feel that the whole 'people walking out' angle has to be a bit of a fabrication. It's been so widely publicised as a double bill, I doubt many would walk out, even if it's true, so what! they've already paid their money so let the mooks walk out and let the film fans who, you know, read reviews and generally know what's going on stay for the next film! It implies that only American audiences understand U.S. movies, when so much of film lore comes, like Cahier du Cinema coining Film Noir, from an outside perspective on a cycle of U.S. movies consumed at once, sometimes in like...double bills. Double bills aren't the sole preserve of America and to suggest that Europeans don't understand the idiom is preposterious.

I just wish the Weinsteins would say look 'we didn't make as much money as we thought we would so we're gonna pump you yurpean fucks for more money, ok,' instead of:

We've revised our UK release plans to allow audiences the chance to see the films separately, like they will be shown in all international territories.

Oh thanks, I love the chance to get my pockets emptied twice and be robbed of a filmic experience just becuase you didn't make as many millions as you wanted becuase you failed to understand the fundametally cult niche audience the film appeals to. If you've got Tarantino and Rodriguez on board you're not going to get Die Hard 4.o!

As the Guardian arts blog puts it:

You can't help but be dismayed at the way that US box-office returns are increasingly treated as the only important guage of quality. Grindhouse may well bomb in British cinemas. Whatever happens, it is unlikely to match the grosses achieved by Hot Fuzz, let alone Spider Man, but that doesn't mean it's a bad movie. It would be nice if UK audiences were able to make up their own minds for once, without having to take it on trust that just because a film has only made $23 million in three weeks in the US, it must therefore be bad.

It's not only Grindhouse, but why isn't there a delux Kill Bill box set yet with more features? or a cut of both films together, I see there's a new Sin City one, but wasn't there a rumoured three hour cut? I had initial feelings of deliberately not seeing either parts of Grindhouse and boycotting it at the cinema and wait for the DVD, but in a scenario where I'm Peter Gibbons and the Weinsteins are Lumbergh I'm going to have to go anyway becuase I'm a fucking pussy....

Update: see, Kurt Russells is with me on this one!