Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Something Wonderful...the Internet still makes you stupid though.

The scarily prolific John Rogers , he's written Transformers don't you know, over at Kung Fu Monkey had a great link to one of the funniest Something Awful articles:

The Inbox Of Nardo Pace, The Empire's Worst Engineer

Yeah, once you've built one death star, building another is a piece of piss and takes like 10 times less time to do..don't think we've ironed out the 'one weakness' yet though

These are hilarious too:

Leave a Message in the Anonymous Christian Complaint Box

Although the Internet has news-based photo-manips and the like coming out of it's electro-arse, Something Awful genuinely spoofs not only images in Photo Shop Phriday but every aspect of the sites themselves, like their amazing Awful Movie Database or Wikipedia user bit and obscure gaming jokes like Gordon Freeman's most memorable lines. The fake web pages are also amazing, but they don't do them as much now because people got confused that there really was sites devoted to things like office chair porn or erotic MS Paint drawings or personal ads where you can go out with a child's drawing of a small robot! Interests: "I'm a child's drawing of a small robot".

Apologies, this post was simply an excuse to put lots of links I like together, so I don't have to go trawling around sites with my 'puter protesting and grinding its gears. It's probably the Web equivalent of putting a funny picture of a little cat falling off a stick on an office cubicle notice board.

Incidentially in my last office job I won a 'best dressed desk award', the prize for which a giant photocopy of a 10 euro note. My desk cubicle included the following items:

1. A large cinema poster for the remake of Rollerball. (yet another shitbox cinematic extravaganza I witnessed with my own orbs)
2. Three 1974 fisher price action figures: the astronaut, the diver and some mission control mook with flares. Can't find pics but found Plaid Stallions which makes up for it. Stumbling upon a decent blog is like finding a fiver in the street these days. Wait, there's the wee fellas, kinda like star wars, but educational. Check it out above I had one of these, still do somewhere in the Batcave mark 1 (aka the redroom)
3. A painting I think by Goya of some really gaunt skeleton figure fighting a Lion, I renamed it

"Zombie: The New King of the Jungle"


trollop23 said...

The origianl Rollerball was okay, but the remake!?!?
You're lucky you got a prize for your desk, all I get are weird looks for my choice of office decor:
1)art made by my kids (it'll be worth millions one day!!)
2)Hulk sits atop my monitor, ready to smash any colleagues who dare bother me
3)a floating eyeball paperweight from the Amsterdam Dungeon
4)an Edward Gorey calendar
5)a poster of Babaouo by Dali
6)a map of the London tram system
7)a glow-in-the-dark devil duckie

I guess it's the price I pay for being in the Earth Rapery business. If you don't have an autographed photo of Wayne Gretzky or some other sports collectible on your wall, you don't really fit in!

trollop23 said...

ignore the typo in the first line, please! I hate myself when I make errors like that...

Caddy Powers Jr said...

In fairness to the Death Star engineers there is actually no proof that they left the same weakness in the 2nd Death Star ... it wasn't finished at the time so we can't tell what kind of sheilding they were going to put on the exhaust port. Remember

1: During construction you probably would have to leave a ship sized route to the engine core in order to get your own construction equpment in (besides it was not like it was an easy route to fly through during a battle)

2: You have to leave an exhuast port otherwise you are in deep doo-doo. They just needed to put a lot of ray sheilding around it to make sure no stupid Jedi could use his pacifist powers to kill hundreds of thousands. But you obviously would build the damn thing and then put in your sheilds around the port.

Besides why worry about any enemy when your sheild generator is being pretected by an army that can be defeated by a smugglar and some savage little bears.

Wow, a long thought out defense of a minor point in Star Wars ... I haven't done that since the dark times (which started with the release of the Phantom Menace)

Caddy Powers Jr said...

All the other issues with Nardo's work are spot on though although I always thoughtr the poor aim of Stormtroopers were due to the obvious restirctions the helmet causes rather than the guns