Friday, May 18, 2007

Well like there was this script floating around: Joel Silver in nonsenical 'news' of Wonder Woman

The Hollywood it twirl in the breeze

"Well, we did have a script but it had no pictures and it was all spoilt by all these wee scribbly things in a row, I didn't know what the hell was going on but they tell me it's about a big tall powerful woman from another country who is invincible and can fly and that makes me pee my wee producer least with the Matrix you could pee yourself and the leather would catch it all....I'm scared..."

The current great white hope of Wonder Woman casting? maybe, I don't know, no one seems to actually know shit about how the Wonder Woman movie's gonna go down....I'll just keep up the whispering campaign here...ginatorresginatorresginatorres....

A while back on these very e-pages I accused Brett Ratner of being a scat loving imbecile in a propeller hat, that was terrible, I apolgise so much, not for the scat and propeller jibe ("The Scat and Propeller" now there's a Super Hans pub if ever there was one!) but the fact that I forgot to include Joel Silver in the whole shitting on geek dreams while wearing propeller hat scene.

Now that there's a Whedonless Wonder Woman, [*sniff*], the skinny from the Silver camp has been, well, gibberish. The last update on Superhero Hype explained little. First up, any information procured in the following circumstances:

At the Los Angeles junket for Silver's latest Dark Castle horror flick The Reaping *with Hillary Swank, Superhero Hype! had a chance to ask the producer about progress on the long-anticipated movie

Isn't going to be good, but Silver gives this slice of non news:

But what about that script they recently bought, which wound up sending Whedon packing? "That was a script that came about," he said. "It had some good ideas in it but I didn't want it floating around, so we took it off the market. It was a period movie and I really don't want to do that."

What was it set in the olden days Joel?, like World War II that's like hundreds of years of ago isn't it? it was 'period piece' so like Wonder Woman Versus Jane Erye! More Joel Gibberish here.

It's amazing that a producer in control of millions of dollars and masterminded the whole Matrix thing is reduced to sentence fragments and talking like a pissed-off teenager in mid-wank whenever anyone asks 'what the hell's going on with Wonder Woman?' He's like ' there's like a script floating around and there was some ideas in it like and, well just fuck off...okay' yep cheers Joely! I leave ya with decisve nugget from Rotton Tommyatoes :

"I mean, we’re struggling with it, but we’ll fix it," Silver asserted. "We’ll solve it."He would not specify where Whedon got stuck. "I don’t know, we've got to find a way; we just couldn’t, we just struggled with it, we couldn’t find a way into it."

According to imdb it's down for 2009 so it all seems very unsure, I suppose no Wonder Woman movie is better than suffering an utter shite one with a microwoman such as Kate Bosworth or Rachel Bilson attempting to be Wonder Woman. It would take some sort of reverse hobbit cgi trickery to make most current starlets appear statuesque and powerful, or they could make all the non-Wonder Woman actors/actresses attach shoes to their knees and sort of waddle around for the whole movie. Days of Our Lives actress Nadia Bjorlin was the last rumoured casting that got a bit of coverage. Her official site's here.

Shit! news just in! Thomas Jane's just pulled out of Punisher 2: me and like three other people give a shit.

Before I leave the subject of Wonder Woman (yeah like I ever really leave it) isn't this probably the scariest thing you've ever seen?

*In a world of constant war, starvation and global environmental catastrophe how can you sell a horror movie on the basis of things like 'locusts' and 'supernatural rivers of blood', there's actual rivers of blood in the world! oh but it's a special Devil type of blood river and Hilary Swank's there so it's scarier than an actual river of blood. I thought Stigmata was one of the weirdest shittest movies I'd ever seen and yet we have to suffer The Reaping, and Sin Eater. It makes Repossessed look like the fucking Exorcist.

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