Saturday, April 01, 2006

Hooray! There isn’t some smug motherfucking bastards on my TV on a Friday night for once!!

My Friday schedule:

3.00am: Go to bed after finding extensive clips to show apathetic mooks, sleep,
7.00am: Contemplate a tamper, renege for reasons of the purity of my groups as if they care…get up, shower
7.30am: Get some doughnuts on Coleman Road, check bank balance, bemoan the fact that Break Charity shop ain’t open yet so I can’t buy that Star Trek technical manual* I saw there on Wednesday for 80p but didn’t have then money to buy because I really wanted to know how phasers really worked by way of the cutaway technical diagram.
8.00am: Stumble into my office, make coffee, wait 30 minutes for office computer, powered presumably by a steam jenny, to heat up and maybe print out stuff and photocopy stuff before class.
9.00am-4.00pm: Talk to apathetic mooks about sitcom.
4.00pm-5.00pm :Eat food for the first time that day after 6 cups of coffee out of Batman mug and can hardly move.
5.00pm-10.00pm: go to bar, have pints with Fabes and Pietari, much geeky chatter ensues, restrain the urge to clock MA student who claims to be the ‘world’s expert on Keats’**, fail to entice any ladies to observe and possibly fiddle with my rinky dink in its natural environ (Reeves and Mortimer videos, my bad paintings, ane red wine... ermm…who could blame ‘em)
11.00pm: Go home, restrain the urge to throw bottles at the Newsnight Review…but what’s this! Due to a stopover at Mr. Pizza, see below, I miss Newsnight Review and land in with Georgie Fame on TV, feel better for not seeing some oafs talk shit about crap they don’t know about (, you outside! ..."I don't know is it the stooory....or the pictoores are goood...oh boo hoo I've got no critical faculities to judge a work of genius.) So in a spate of abandon I write this gubbins! Hurrah! (For me, but not for yous, as yous have to read it, sorry) I may go down and play some Splinter Cell, splinty splities, sneaky sneakies “good work Fisher!”. The End. Please send in alternative ideas for what I can do on Friday nights, this sucks!

*I’ve checked, it’s already gone, some feck in a mobility scooter with three bosoms has already nabbed it no doubt! And he bought sausages from the butchers, I can hear ‘dem sizzlin’ through his walls, he’s having one of them there sausage parties. .

**It’s not like I claim to the ‘world’s expert’ on photomanipulated pics of she-males coloured green like She-Hulk, even though I could, start with something small MA mooky boy, world's expert on Keats? is there some sort of WWF grandslam in this event? This week only! the world's expert on Keats and the world's expert on Yeats in 'Challenge of EA' there or be at 11 etc..."

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