Saturday, April 22, 2006

Spidey don't drive, Batsy don't skate....

Wanted to accompany this post with nice pics of my great friends from back home who accomodated /humoured me while I was at home visiting my mother in hospital. However, I couln't find my digital camera cable, it's like where the fuck is everything all over again. People normally say, 'well, where did you have it last?' and, as regards my digital camera cable, all I can say is, it used to be inside the ass-hatch of my Spud-trooper. I mean, how do you top that, it's probably back in Ireland somewhere, unless it's like in my hand or on my head as we speak...dammit, I had some nice pics of my nice Toxic Avenger figure I got from JB!

So, I'll have to use old photos of these great folks,' JB', 'badbrute, 'D & C'. These are friends that have known me since 1993 at least, god help 'em. The best thing is that none of us seem to change, within about a milisecond of seeing my friends it is as if we were never apart. Like in Dublin when ‘C’ was driving me to the bus and ‘D’ was in the back. She was talking to me as a hot Japanese girl in knee-high, high-heel boots was walking up O’Connell Street:
'you may have lost him there C', says ‘D’ she replies ‘try wearing them for a while chief’ ‘D’,totally deadpan in the back goes, *sigh* ‘don’t encourage him….'

A few days later, me and JB got a chance to knock about Forbidden Planet in Dublin, an unexpected pleasure, it's great to be able to give out about Spidermobiles to someone who understands that Johnny Storm gave Spider-Man a spider-mobile in the 1960s and Spidey gave it back because he couldn't drive! Before nitpicker comments, Spidey could drive a motorcycle but he had never driven a car before getting this dune buggy monstrosity. I suppose my main feeling is that the Batmobile became part of Batman's identity but the Spidermobile is more like toy-makers making Spidey have a car so they can sell more shitty toys.

It reminded me, in the vein of Caddy Powers' fine geek week of other niggly film things that seemed to annoy me and no one else, forwith:

Play Misty for Me. Clint Eastwood plays a Jazz DJ! whatever about the obsessive love plot and a story that inspired Fatal Attraction I don't care, I immediately can't believe it, because, Clint Eastwood plays a Jazz DJ! Have you ever met a Jazz DJ? do they exsist? and if they do, do they ever ever refuse joints like Eastwood's Jazz DJ! He refuses a joint in that movie. There's a black DJ who goes 'do'ya want some' and Clint goes *no* and the other guy smokes it from behind a door or something--all you see is the fucking smoke. Do you really want Clint being an expert on Jazz while he sounds like he's constipated? next.....up...IS.....a...fine...TRaCk....from...HEERbie Hancock...

The Omega Man from Heston's 'I'm sick of saving you human's past, I am going to save your futures!! period. The Omega Men was based on Richard Matheson's I am Legend I have no problem with the premise that Heston is the last surviving man (again!) and that he is surrounded with vampiric zombies, oh yeah and he gets to shoot things and meets a submissive lady...again.
I actually can suspend my disbelief in that area for 90 minutes. What ruins this movie for me is that he goes to watch Woodstock over and over again and says in his great and emotional range 'best god-damned movie ever!'

Batman and Robin I know people have been giving out about this for years, I try not to give about this too much as I don't want to think about it more than is absolutely neccesary. But why the fuck do Batman and Robin have skates in their boots. Every other Batman movie has some sort of back story as regards the villain. In this one Gordon's on the Batmobile screen about 5 minutes in saying 'there's a new villain in town called mister freeze'. Fair enough Batman and Robin have a bit of a heads up, but this still implies they are prepared for an ice-based villain and carry skate-boots around in the batmobile all the time. The alternative is more horrific, they both have inbuilt skates in their boots all the time just in case they encounter an ice-based villain. It does drive me mad, when I finally saw Batman and Robin I raised this point at work years ago and magaret said 'so you've no problem with a guy who dresses up at a bat, becomes a vigilante, and employs young men, but you have a problem with a guy who has skates in his boots'.

Yes, yes I do have a problem with a guy who has skates in his boots. I have, however, taken to carrying hardcore pornography and dinosaur toys around with me all the time just in case I meet anyone from the religious right.

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