So wanking ladies are like snow flakes....

It's a tough job but somebody's gotta do it, I could say, but no one's gotta do it, but I'll act like they do, and give you some quotes from: Masters and Johnson on Sex and Human Loving
William H. Masters Virgina E Johnson and Robert C Kolondny. Mcmillian London (1986) a book I read today for my 'Spider-Man and wanking' chapter (working title)

with my 'textual analysis' in italics:

"Masters and Johnston noted that no two women they studied had been observed to masturbate in exactly the same way. Even if the general pattern of physical self-stimulation was similar, the timing, tempo, and style of each individual's were unique. While men, in general, have less diversity and more "sameness" in their masturbation patterns, individual embellishment or idiosyncrasies exist here too" (p.289) [So women are the wanking musical geniuses dainty harpsicord players and men are monged session musicians tugging away like brutish apes.... fair enough I suppose...forgot, Slipknot are men, aren't they? under the masks who can tell?]

"A complete catalogue of the varieties of techniques used in masturbation could fill a full-length book and would probably be boring reading." (p.290)

[to who? I'd feckin' read it, this line reminds me of Bill Hicks' great bit on Basic Instinct:

'all the lesbian sex sequences were cut out of this film because a test audience were.turned.off.by.them man is my thumb not on the pulse of America, I don't want to seem like randy pan the goat boy but, eh, it was the only reason I went to see that piece of shit movie, ya know. If I had been in that test audience, the only one protesting out the front of the film would have been Michael Douglas demanding his part be put back in....yeah you get to see her pussy for one eighth of a second...you know there's movies you can rent...nothing but pussy, did ya all know that? one eighth of a second of plot the rest.... pussy, the numbers are exactly reverse, one line of dialogue "I'd like to see your pussy"


[on sex dolls] (p.294) "These devices can be used with lubricating lotion or cream and may also have features that add vibration or heat to the experience. It must be pointed out that these devices are not always manufactured and may pose some physical risk if they go haywire"

[What! do these guys think 1970s sex dolls have some sort of Westworld consciousness? not even Real Dolls, so I'm told, 'go haywire']

Reading this next, so I'll keep you posted on any interesting quotes, it's a tough job....