Art House Audience in Shutting their Yaps for 2 Hours Shock!!

As you may or may not know, I have a huge tolerance for going to see shite movies in multiplexes, because, even with shite movies in multiplexes the chav kids will shut the fuck up if there's enough explosions, fart gags and titties in 'em.

But, fuck me, the chattering classes art house cinema crowd won't shut the fuck up! we've all read the reviews, we all know who is in the movie by looking at imdb and we know the trivia, by....looking...at the ...trivia...on imdb. But oh no, that's not good enough for these Waitrose eating fuckos, no they have to repeat loudly over the film what they read Philip French saying about the film, over the film, that your trying to fucking watch.

I sould go to the local art house all the time, I used to go almost every week to the IFI when I lived in Dublin, I love Un coeur en hiver and Daniel Auteuil movies, which always helps in enjoying Big Train, I love art house movies, I just hate loud art house audiences. They think they are better than 12 year old, popcorn-throwing chavs talking over a movie, because they are saying something they read from The Guardian rather than going 'heh boobies', but they aren't, anyone who talks over the movie is at the same level of shit boxery, end of story.

Like when I went to see The Hours (don't ask*) and some mook snorts really loudly whenever Miranda Richardson appears: 'Pfft! she doesn't look a bit like Vanessa Bell!!'. Or when I went to see For Your Consideration and a woman was asking her dolt of a husband who everyone was and he was telling here but he didn't know so he was mixing up all the actors and I was ready to wallop him!

I think my annoyance is that when someone laughs at a multiplex they genuinely think something's funny, when someone laughs at an arthouse, they want everyone else in the audience know they have gotten the obscure reference/literally allusion style joke, not they instinctively think it's funny.

However, finally, with the great Pan's Labyrinth, the art house mooks were silenced and they had to shut up and take the fantasy cinema genius without condescension. I know I should have seen it ages ago, but I missed it at its first run at the cinemas and did what to see such a movie on online or knock-off and, hooray, waited for a second cinema showing in this fine city and blubbed like a ba at its greatness. It was a beautiful movie that has more feeling in a half hour segment than all 6 hours of Spidey-3 and Piratey-3 put together.


* Look at me nose! do I get an Oscar! and lest we forget 'ooh I'm sitting on a window still in hat, whatda reckon I fall to my death in a bit? oohh the knowing/literary/AIDS allegory suspense of it all.

Update: Was checking out if the lovely Del Toro box set has come down any in price on Amazon, and found this gem of heatheness amongs glowing reviews, from a person called Bev "Likes Good Horror Films", what a werid surname, is she one of the Galway "Likes Good Horror Films"? anyway here's what she 'had' to say:

I like to multitask, check emails, scan a mag & watch a dvd, cant do that with this film, didnt realise it was in spanish with english subtitles... Very long film, some really violent bits & alot of fantisicle (if thats a word), weird, creature, narnia esk/neverland bits...Ok film if you can manage to watch to end, needs full concentration due to subtitles, but not what I expected...back up dvd only i'd say...